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Here is our last newsletter:


TIM RAY AND BARBARA BERGER’S NEWSLETTER
NO. 104 / JUNE 2017

In this newsletter you can read about:
1) Can we learn to worry less? (by Barbara Berger)
2) Byron Katie in Copenhagen this July!

Can we learn to worry less?
by Barbara Berger


When we understand that our thinking determines our experience, we can also see that excess worry or "catastrophic" thinking are not a good way to deal with our life experiences, especially if we want to live happy lives. Because what we focus our attention on grows. (For more about the way the mind works and how our thinking determines our experience, see my free e-book The Mental Laws).


So if we do worry a lot, is there anything we can do about it? Can we stop worrying – or at least reduce the amount of worry we experience in our daily lives? I have discovered that questioning our thinking helps a lot. Now how does that work? How do we actually do that?


Well of course there are many ways to question our thinking.


If you think you have a brain tumor or cancer or heart trouble, you can go to your doctor and get a check-up. Then you’ll know whether it’s true or not. If it’s true then you can take it from there. And if it’s not, well then you can forget about it and stop worrying. And the same goes for all the other scary stories we have about life. 


If you are having problems with your partner or at work, you can, for example, go to a psychologist, therapist or coach (like me) and tell your stories, and he or she will help you find out how much of what you are saying it true—and then you can work with that. Cognitive behavioral therapy, for example, seeks to help people test their beliefs and assumptions and identify the unquestioned thoughts they have which are distorted, unrealistic and over-generalizations. By doing this, people can develop a more realistic (and kinder) approach to their lives and problems. And of course, you can also talk to your friends, because friends usually want to hear our stories (that’s why they are our friends). But this of course can be dangerous, especially if your friends always agree with you! The best friends are the ones who question your stories, especially if they are causing you distress.


One of the best modern-day tools I know to investigate our thoughts, stories and beliefs is “The Work of Byron Katie”.  


The Work of Byron Katie
The Work of Byron Katie consists of four simple questions and a turnaround that anyone can use to examine their fears, worries and stories and see if they are true or not. The Work is a modern-day version of the traditional inquiry techniques and is definitely for people who are on the fast track. If you want to know the truth, do “The Work” because like so many of our teachers have said, only the truth can set us free. Most of us agree with this observation, but the trouble is, most of us don’t really know how to do this in practice. We don’t know how to find the truth. And up until now, we didn’t have a simple technique we could use to identify what is true and what is not. But I believe Byron Katie’s four questions is a really good tool for this. The questions are so simple that anyone can use them. And they are effective because they cut through to the heart of the matter quickly and easily. And you don’t need to go to a therapist to ask the questions nor do you need special training to use them by yourself. All you have to do is sit down quietly (either by yourself or with a friend or partner) write down the thoughts and beliefs that are bothering you, and then ask the four questions and turn your statements around. And see what happens.


Byron Kate’s four questions are:
“1) Is it true?
2) Can you absolutely know that it’s true?
3) How do you react when you believe that thought?
4) Who would you be without the thought?
and
The turnaround (the exact opposite of the original statement)”


When we do “The Work” and ask the four questions, we often discover that many of our fears and worries have nothing to do with reality. And when we can see this, what usually happens is we tend to worry less. And not only do we tend to worry less, we also often experience more clarity and happiness in our lives – and discover new, more constructive ways of looking at hitherto stressful thoughts or situations.


For more about The Work and how to use the four questions to question your stressful thinking and worrying thoughts, se Byron Katie’s books, for example her first book “Loving What Is” or check out her Web site www.thework.com.


Byron Katie in Copenhagen this July!

And guess what – Byron Katie is coming to Copenhagen with her 4 questions on July 14, so if you want to see her and get a first-hand chance to experience her doing the Work – now's your chance. During this event, Katie will invite the audience to write down their stressful thoughts. Then she will call up volunteers from the audience and ask them the 4 questions. Watching Katie doing The Work is a truly fascinating and enriching experience, whether you’re the one who is doing The Work with her or you’re just watching and listening. The event takes place on July 14 from 6.30 pm to 9.30 pm at Scandic Hotel, Vester Søgade 6, Copenhagen V. Click here to read more about the event or purchase tickets.




Love,
Tim and Barbara